"perfect together"
carved into you at: 9:15 p.m. on 2007-10-29
i've never had someone outright tell me that we'd be perfect together.
i've had people say they wanted to date me. i've had people tell me they like me. i've had more people than i ever needed tell me they're in love with me. but no one's ever come right out and told me that we'd be perfect together. and the scary thing is he's right.
we're just like each other. same sick sense of humor. same sociopathic tendencies. same intelligence level. same maturity level... well maybe i'm a bit below his maturity level but he is six years older than me. same basic life goals. we're basically male and female counterparts.
the strange thing is we're not attracted to each other. we're not in love. we can just look at each other and know that if it ever happened it would work. and it would work better than any other relationship we've ever been in. would it be healthy or functional? no. but it would work and we'd love it.
he turned to me and said, "you know if we'd known each other two years ago, before you moved back... we'd be together now. and we'd be perfect for each other." then he said, "we'd have the most emotionally sado-masochistic relationship ever and we'd love it." later he turned to me and said " i'm just waiting for you to kill him. or for him to leave you."
i'm not sure what it all means. the only thing i know is he's right. it would be perfect.
the thing that scares me the most is the emotionally sado-masochistic relationship bit. because i look back on what J and i had and i think about having that with someone i whose company i actually enjoy. with someone who's intellectually on the same level as me. and i'm not gonna lie... it's tempting.
i'm not gonna do anything. i'm not gonna fuck up my life like normal. he wouldn't let me even if i wanted to.
i'm just going to wonder.